Duck Chronicles
by sulfeawen13
Summary: You know those little toys you play with in the bath tub? The rubber ducks? This is a story of live rubber gone wrong. The first place the ducks end up is at Hogwarts...


~ Ducky Chronicles ~  
  
  
One hot summer day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry an historical event took place. Severus Snape finally took a bath. Snape was walking in the halls, brooding as usual, and ran his hand through his black, greasy, oily, slimy, dirty, stiff hair. He was especially shocked, because when he looked at his hand a couple minutes later, he saw that it had this odd substance on it. It was a brown color, and it felt very slimy. He rushed up to the first person he saw, which happened to be Remus Lupin (Remus had to talk to Dumbledore).  
  
"Remus, oh, Remus!" yelled Snape in a panic, diving at Remus.  
  
"What, Severus?!?" asked Remus, looking taken a back at Snape who was grasping his legs in a tight hold.   
  
"My hands! I ran them through my hair and...and...this stuff appeared! What is it Remus?" yelled Snape, shoving his coated hands in Remus's face.  
  
Remus backed away in disgust, but holding back a laugh. He knew what it was, and knew what Snape's fate was going to have to be.  
  
"Why, Severus, that dirt and grease, a mixture of both. It has a common cure." Remus choked out, damn did Snape stink.  
  
"What is that?" Severus asked in awe, standing up and brushing off his robes.  
  
"When was the last time you took a bath?" Remus answered thoughtfully.  
  
"Twenty years ago." Severus innocently muttered.  
  
"Then that's what you must do! Take a bath!" Remus said matter-a-factly.  
  
As Remus rushed off, Snape stood there thoughtfully, then thought 'yes, yes, I shall take a bath!'Then he ran to the dungeons to prepare. He waved his wand and a huge bathtub appeared complete with a king-sized thing of conditioner and shampoo. He took off his robes and settled in the bathtub, then grinned   
his idiotic grin.   
  
"How could I forget!" he yelled insanely.  
  
He waved his wand in the air again, and a pack of rubber duckys appeared. He ripped open the package tossing it carelessly onto the floor, and sat the ducks on the edge of the bathtub. But he should have read the label, because it had a warning. It said:  
  
' WARNING: THESE DUCKS ARE ALIVE. IF YOU TREAT THEM IMPROPERLY THEY WILL   
PUNISH YOU!'  
  
He ducked under the water and swam to the other side, then lathered the shampoo up in his hair, then the conditioner. By the time he was done he had already used up both bottles. He washed it on out, then swam back to the other side, he looked at the rubber ducks and saw that they were watching him, and blinking   
eerily. He shook his head, feeling very disturbed, and swam back to the other side. He resurfaced and saw that the ducks' eyes' had indeed followed him. He kept his head above the water and swam in the other direction, the ducks eyes following him. He hopped out of the bathtub quickly, and grabbed a towel. He got   
dressed quickly then combed and dried his hair. When he walked back into his bathroom, the ducks were staring at him, but were now scowling. The biggest duck grew about fifty sizes and walked over to Snape.  
  
"You didn't play with us!" boomed the huge duck, who was about two times as tall as Snape.  
  
Snape stood there shaking, then began pacing, the smaller ducks' eyes' following him. He suddenly felt rage course through him.  
  
"Shrinklo!" he bellowed, pointing his wand at the giant rubber duck that began to shrink quickly.  
  
Then Snape spun around looking at the smaller ducks, which were cowering in his shadow. His now-clean hair was disheveled, his veins were popping out on his red face and neck, and his eyes were wide with compressed anger. He grabbed a duck, tossed his head back as far as it could and began laughing in crazed anger, holding the duck in the air by its neck and waving it around.  
  
"Die you damned duck! DIE! MHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHBWHAHAHAH!" bellowed   
Snape, laughing yet more madly, just before he threw the duck in the air.  
  
"MwaMwa!" yelled the duck, mortified.  
  
Just as it was at it's peak of going up and down Snape shot a spell at it that made it explode in midair. The duck's shared remains fell back to the ground, and disappeared with another spell. He grabbed all of the other duck and tossed them out the window, banishing them into the night.  
  
"MWWWWAAAAAAAAAA!" yelled the ducks as they flew out of Britain and into the Riddle House...  
  
A/N So, who should meet the ducks next? Peter or Volodemort? Or maybe the ducks should join the dark side... 


End file.
